I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want her autograph on my taint
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
