so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
