Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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