Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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