Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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