Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize