are you so shy because you have an std?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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