i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
