so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize