You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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