So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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