Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
