That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
