We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
