Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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