its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
