May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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