Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
