Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
