Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
