party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
