Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
