One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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