Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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