i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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