I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Randomize
