I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
