the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
