The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
