i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
