Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
