none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
