You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
