Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So squirting runs in the family.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
