worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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