I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
