If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
