she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Randomize
