I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
