i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
is it fun? or sober?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
