so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
