Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
