We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
