my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
