You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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