And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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