There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
