the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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