I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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