so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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