So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
