my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
