That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
pop tarts are not kleenex
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
