Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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