all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
