but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
