It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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