My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
