just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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