I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
